The worst thorn in anyone’s side in a real estate transaction relationship is to have one person on the team have a ‘chip’ on their shoulder. Each transaction will usually have team players consisting of buyers, sellers, real estate agents for buyer and seller, escrow officers (or in some states there are attorneys), loan officers (and processors, underwriters, lenders etc), home inspectors, pest inspectors, surveyors and so on who all need to work together as a team….or else.
But wouldn’t you know there always seems to be one person who is not only having a bad day but has a bad day EVERY day. Their lives are filled with negativity and nothing seems to be good enough and no one wants to deal with them ever again because they keep blaming everyone else around them and fail to realize it’s THEM that is the problem. If anything, they are REMEMBERED from that meeting and then throughout their careers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE REMEMBERED.
There are always ‘learning lessons in real estate’ and dealing with other people and their bad behavior is always a biggie so when crossing a negative path with Ms. Negative Nelly or Mr. Negative Nate:
1) If they start yelling hang up the phone and do not chime in. You can even say …oops bad connection and hang up. If they call back don’t answer and follow up with an email. You can be honest and say, I don’t deserve to be yelled at or continue on with your email and say ‘bad connection so followed up with an email’.
2) EMAIL all communication so you have a paper trail of conversations. Just remember to NOT follow up with a retaliation of negative feedback because two wrongs don’t make a right. I love to text but there is no immediate paper trail and we always want ‘proof’ in case this person tries to turn it around. All phone calls and texts should be backed up with email regardless.
3) Negative people who believe the other person is always wrong do not have the awareness ( gift if you will) to look at their own self and therefore do not take the blame for anything. Constantly in their dream world and so self absorbed, they're more concerned with themselves and do not care how they affect other people. If they don’t get their way they strike out and over exaggerate.Keep Healthy Personal Boundaries.
4) Be the better person. There is no sense wasting energy on negative people and situations. There will be those that attack those that diffuse from situations that are not good for them and say things like, “We can’t all be rosy like you” but it takes more strength to just be the better person rather than taking the easy way out by chiming in with those negative people. Negativity is a DIS-EASE.
After living a large portion of my life in a negative and low self worth world, it took many years and constant work on ‘self’ to get to where I am today. It’s not just about ‘playing the part’ in real estate. It’s about living each day with good morals, beliefs and values that carry on to every aspect of my life…including my real estate business.
We are all human and experience negative thoughts.
But wasted energy accompanies those negative actions…
…and has no place in Real Estate.
Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.
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