Hawaii Real Estate | Hawaii Relocations | Hawaii Home Buying & Selling

I was going through a tough time the other day and I needed a little time and space to regroup.  It wasn’t something to share with everyone when a mental breakdown was occurring. What one person may go through may seemingly be a ‘nothing’ to another although a personal turmoil means something to each individual who is going through it.

 I’m so grateful that I have the ability to recognize that whatever the situation or circumstance there are learning lessons in all. I rested and regrouped and everything was fine the next day.

Back at the office:   While chatting with my Broker In Charge and another former agent, a young man walks into the office. I asked if I could help him and he said, “I just came back from Afghanistan and I wanted to come in and tell you how sorry I am for making your life a living hell before I left”. 

For the life of me, I could not remember his name or how he made me miserable. I asked him his name and he said "so and so" was my fiancé.  IT CLICKED IMMEDIATELY and I told him I remembered him.

He stepped right up to me and handed me a good luck bamboo plant and said, “I just had to come by the office and see you. I needed to tell you how sorry I am for being so mean to you right before I left”.  I mumbled an "awwwwww" and said thank you while I hugged him. His eyes had watered..so did mine. He again muttered a 'sorry' and walked out.

I was moved.

At that moment everything fell into place.

No matter how much I think I'm going through something awful there is always someone who is going through something more.  There is always someone out there that needs a hug or to make peace within.

I don’t know what the circumstances were for this young man to think of me throughout his time in Afghanistan. Maybe he just saw our sign and immediately felt the need to apologize to me and make amends. Whatever the reasons, little does he realize that I needed a lift too.

I needed a kind word from someone that day.

I needed to give back a hug to someone who needed it too.

Funny how life always seems to balance out sometimes.

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When I first started in the real estate business, I was told by many ‘to keep my emotions out of business’.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why I got so wrapped up and worried about something that was going wrong in the transaction.  I wanted everything to just run smoothly. I lost sleep from playing out hypothetical scenarios in the middle of the night. 

With eyes wide open,  the ‘what ifs’ danced in my head.

There are situations that are beyond my control.  No matter how much I worried or wanted to make things happen I could not control anyone else involved in the transaction.  Appraisers did not get their report in fast enough. The loan officer or the agent on the other side would not return calls on status.  How can I  ‘make’ them do their job?  

The only one I have control of in any given situation is…MYSELF.

One day I realized that I no longer stressed myself out and that I took things in stride. I was still detail oriented, organized and anal about doing everything by the book. I still went above and beyond for my clients except MINUS THE STRESS.  So, what was I doing different? 

Along the way I regrouped and took on the challenges of working with other people:

I no longer try to control situations I had no control over. (no worrying!)

Instead of worrying, I just do my part and that’s all I can do. I accept that.

I accept that the appraiser would get in his report …when it got in.

I patiently wait for VA to send in their NOV (Notice of Value)

I patiently wait for a call back, while emailing a follow up as well.

If there is something I can do to make the transaction go smoothly, I do it. 

If a party to the transaction needs help, I offer my help.

If my client needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, I am there.

If I am yelled at I politely tell them I do not deserve to be yelled at.

If I still don’t get a return call ….. I just keep trying.

If I feel stress coming on….. I scream in a pillow. (lol…not)

Breathe.....

NO TWO TRANSACTIONS WILL EVER BE ALIKE.   I am a continuous work in progress and I know that every day in real estate (as in life) I will have many learning lessons.  Things aren’t always going to be the way I would like and there will be curve balls at every turn.

No matter what the situation may be….

It’s all in the manner of how I handle it.

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