There comes a time in ones life when a person knows they need to change something so their lives can be more enriched and meaningful.
There comes a time in a mother's life when all they hope, wish and care about is for their children to be happy.
People change in their own good time. They do not change if they do not want to and they do not change for anyone but themselves. That's when it works. Circumstances and situations give a person permission to keep doing the same things over, to stay in unhealthy relationships and continue to beat ones self esteem down.
That person will remain in their own dilema of unhappiness and will not fulfill everything in life they really want to achieve when they stay on the road to self destruction.
Codependency is a sickness and it is a dis - ease (get it?) with self. Being uncomfortable with self is in fact the biggest form of low self esteem and eventually leads to people pleasing and saying yes when they really mean no. My daughter followed in my footsteps and I can only say that she must've picked it up through all the unhealthy behavior she saw me in during her young life.
It takes a heck of a lot of practice to change ones thinking around. Those unhealthy beliefs about self eventually leads to the soul going bankrupt. Spiritually,mentally and physically beat down. If you have not read my first story of my daughter's turmoil read on here>>>> I Saw Your Face In a Crowded Place
After being separated for over 2 years (and separated three out of the five years) she finally divorced her now ex husband. Over the past 2.5 years she focused on paying her debts (incurred during that turbulent marriage) and has been employed and went back to school two months after she left him over two years ago.
They say (in AA, NA and CA- Codependents Anonymous) that the first step is admitting. In turn we learn new tools and put it into practice. I have watched my daughter grow ....again. Of course there were more trials along the way but nothing she didn't go through and handle.
And then it happened. She met her knight in shining armor. Literally.
Other people can see things that maybe they could not because we are looking from the outside. I saw the transformation of a young lady who was still healing from the past and taking a risk in a relationship with someone she recognized as a healthy minded individual. Of course they had their little quirks to fine tune their relationship (and more to come I warned them! :) Bottom line...they are happy and look happy...and it feels happy.
They finally exchanged their vows yesterday.
It was a joyous time for all and I watched my daughter enter into a world so different than the past. It's called Change with a Spring Fresh Future.....a MARRIAGE. A union of souls. Everything about the wedding, the families getting together and our luncheon just felt....RIGHT.
My daughter is happy....and that's all that matters.
Forward Ho!
No looking back now....just good times ahead!
If you put your cursor over the picture there's a message there LOL!
Congratulations DORI & GERARDO!!
** This is my NON Entry for the Spring Fresh Contest.
The "Spring Cleaning & Fresh Ideas For Changing Times" Contest is now going on so click on the link for contest rules and join in!
Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.
© 2007-2012 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.
All rights reserved.
I'm elated, ecstatic, jubilant but very tired today :) :)
As you can see, I've been very busy....the transaction that William Johnson referred to me is already funded but our Bureau of Conveyances held onto it one more day....will close tomorrow.....and of course...my part time job in our c21 office and getting ready with Dori's Wedding.
Welcome to the family Gerardo!
(he doesn't really know what he's getting into with all of Dori's family mmooooahhh haaa haaaa........!)
Sally Darlin' - Best Wishes to Dori & Gerardo! And, sweet dreams for Gary & Sally - Your little one is safe in the arms of a loving husband.
Just took a sip of my diet soda and realized my face was wet with tears. Thanks for tenderly sharing from the perspective of a loving and devoted Mom.
Mahalo,
Marlene
Very Very cool! There is a big difference between codependency and inter-dependence! Best to them in the future!
Hi Sally~ Your daughter is a beautiful bride and she looks so happy! Congratulations to you and your family. I wish you all nothing but the best.....
Sally-What a beautiful video. Congrats to you and her. May all of her dreams come true now and forever!
Sounds like a true fresh start indeed. Congrats to you and your Sally!
Marlene: I just watched the show again....I most likely have tears for a long time....tears of happiness mind you :) :) I love my children and would try and 'save' them to the ends of the earth...if it were possible. It isn't....they grow in their own good time :)
Russell: Yes there is...thanks much!
thanks Vickie...they look soo happy...and I can actually still feel the vibes from the wedding yesterday...pretty neat feeling :)
Debra: thanks a lot...it means a lot to a mom to have a happy girl who struggled for years...to find the true meaning of happines.. :)
JL: Thanks much...a very happy time!
Sally-I am happy to hear this! Congrats..thanks for sharing this very special moment in your life with us! Go Dori and Geraldo...with love..with peace...and joy! :)
Midori: It is wonderful isn't it? The struggles we mothers go through with our kids...but there is always a silver lining somewhere huh?
thanks MIdori!
Congrats Sally !!! ... what a gorgeous couple :o)
I wish them all the happiness in the world as they start their chapter of their lives together ! ... what a lovely photo tribute you gave them !
Cheers Sally !
Sheldon
What a beautiful bride! And that's one handsome man she married! Congratulations to Dori and Gerardo! And congratulations to the families! Life is good!
Sally, What a beautiful couple and they do look SO happy, I am just thrilled for them. And for you, I'm sure it's been a road you've traveled much of with your daughter. I am so glad she found her soul mate and I wish them all the blessings in the world!
I am so happy for all of you and loved the pictures! We had a wedding yesterday too.....my husband's niece got married and it was a lot of fun.
Sally, that is wonderful, thank you for sharing. I have a daughter who is suffering, I pray every day for her recovery, for her to find happiness in life. She has given me a beautiful grandson, but her suffering is great. I can really understand how happy this made you.
I wish all the happiness in the world to the lovely couple, and of course to you too.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Oh Sally ..That was so beutiful..It brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face..I wish them all the happiness in the world!
You must be so Proud...Not easy being a MOM is it??
I know a lot of your previous sources of angst evaporated with this marriage!
Life takes some amazing twists and turns, and I hope that your daughter and new son-in-law will be very happy!
Featured in the Group "Whacked!!!"
Sally looks like a beautiful wedding, and a proud mom and dad to boot.
Now about the bathroom thing .......... all I see is you heading towards a bunch of bushes :) :) :)
Sally, what a beautiful bride - and mother of the bride! Yesterday was a good day for weddings.
Now you wouldn't be a proud and happy mom would you? ;-) Congrats to them (and you Sally) and may their life be a long and happy one. My daughter is getting married this coming Saturday and things are getting busy here too!
Sally - That video of the wedding was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Not only did the bride and groom look beautiful but so did you my friend. I loved the photo of you with your hidden message....it was a perfect touch! :)
Woo Hoo, I just woke up, LOL. Yep, I worked till 5,ate and then while I decided to take a few minutes in my special chair and I went out like a light. No post, no comments and still hours of work to prepare for more showings tomorrow and a C/O to deal with yet this evening.
What a post. Naturally there is the old ( going to leave that since everyone has moved on ) and so then to deal with the wonderful and beautiful RES and the transformative event of yesterday.
Spring is a great time and eveything is new and adorned in bright light. And they were yesterday and as they begin a remarkable journey as a brand new family, just looking at them gives one a glimpse of the new miracle about to reveal itself. What a wonderful new story to unfold and you get to be a part of it. Congratulations to the families and welcome to the miracle this Spring brings. Sending all my Best Wishes to the new Bride and Groom and wishing them a fabulous new beginning filled Love, Good Health, Prosperity and Great Joy!
To quote the M-O-T-B, "woohoo!" Great post, loved the photos and your comments. Blessings to the young newlyweds and to their extended family!
Sally- This is incredible news! I had no idea. And I'd never heard of Codependents Anonymous. But I have heard dis-ease framed that way before. With Fibromyalgia, I know I qualify. But I think CA is a great idea for a support group. I've known many women who could have used this, and probably still could. But their toxic behavior wore me out, and my even-keeled advice that never wavered from "true north" every time they asked, eventually made them stop asking for my advice. I would love to hear them actually say that they were codependent. I can only imagine how much different their lives would be.
Congratulations Dori! You've done the work, and you've earned your healthy relationship =D God bless!
Sally... yes, to a new fresh start.... you must be very proud... and ps... your daughter is very pretty. But I guess she is taken now. ;o) Seriously, congrats. A very beautiful video... thanks for sharing.
Sally- I have been watching Dori's show over and over again! IT is so beautiful to watch. She is so gorgeous and looks like you. Is Gerardo in the military? He is so handsome. Dori is so gorgeous and I am now crying too! What a blessed day! You are so blessed!
What a good looking family! Best wishes to the bride and groom and to the parents of this great young couple! It looks like it was a lovely wedding.
Wow This is just wonderful Sally. They look soooo happy and you look great! What a wonderful beginning to a story that took over for one with a very bad ending. Congratulations and all the best to Dori and her new husband Sir Gary!
Sally, I am so happy for you and your daughter! What a huge step forward for her. Conquering those issues can be a lifetime struggle so for her to have done so while young is just wonderful.
Sheldon: thanks so much...I keep playing that show over and over...and tear up...what a girl I am lol!
Carol: They are such a beautiful couple...inside and out. WooHoo to Dori and Gerardo!
Carole: They sure do look happy don't they? Long road...and looking forward to a grandchild ? ? ?
Ann: Thanks Ann...glad you had fun too.
Andrea: I feel your pain....it's awful when there is nothing we can do until THEY decide it's time. thank you
I am so proud Hannah...thanks.
Richard: You're right...a LOT of time and energy with the emotions a mom goes through when they are unable to do anything but wait. I'm sure they will be very happy Richard.
George: It was and we are very proud. I almost didn't make it lol!
Pat: Oh...it was a wonderful day!
Ron: Oh...goodness...you'll be tearing up too. :)
Donna: thanks Donna....those videos sure show more to a picture don't they?
Hey William! Thank you so much for your heartfelt message William. This is a miracle...until a grandchild appears lol! Now I want to really be a grandparent. Oh, yeah.
Jan: WooHooooooo! Thanks much!
Lisa: I did...and look at me now! LOL! She is now rewarded with a really nice young man. :)
Jeff: Oh I sure am Jeff....it was a long journey. And yes, my daughter is beautiful....inside too :)
Katerina: It is a wonderful show...I have over 700 pictures...think I should make a few more?
Susan: Thank you!
Paddy: A Happy Time for sure...you can just see all the smiles too!
Diane: At least she's young, resilient and bouncing back ...for darn sure!
My daughter is 21! I am NOT planning anything soon, but certainly can feel your motherly love and know that they will always be our little girls....
Sally how exciting and wonderful. Dory looks beautiful ! Wow I had no idea but what a beautiful story which I have followed for a couple of years. Gosh it makes me feel old to realise I have followed this for that long.
Congratulations to Dory and Geraldo !!
You said it so well, " My daughter is happy....and that's all that matters." They both do look very happy, and I enjoyed watching the show.....almost like being there, not quite but almost :) Oh, and yes, I did put my cursor over your picture....:)
Oooooooh Sally, sincere congratulations to you and your daughter. When the union is right, there is no pain with the starting of a new life. As a mom myself, one of the things I do often is pray for the future husbands of my daughters. It's got to be very comforting to know that your daughter is loved and will be cared for by the man she has chosen to be her husband. Much happiness to all!
Sally - Wow! What a great tribute! As a mother I can fully appreciate all of the emotions you feel for your children. It sounds like they are on the path to happiness - even if she had to take a detour along the way. Sometimes the Lord gives us the bad times so we can fully appreciate the good times.
The Hale Koa is beautiful - we were there quite a few times while living in Hawaii!
I am so happy for them and you - I will pray for their continued happiness!
AloHA Sally—Dori and Gerardo are on course for their Spring Fresh Future! I wish all of you peace, joy, love and laughter as you embark on this new adventure. You are a great mom... Dori is living proof of it. The video is wonderful and something they will have to look back upon. OK, your photo looks like "Wagons Ho!" when your are marching off to the loo cuz ya gotta go, go, go.... LOL!
Have a great week! Excellent post BTW.
Sally,
Touching video...I pray that their marriage be as happy as their wedding...!!! :) Thanks, Fran
This was beautifully done Sally. Your daughter is very beautiful and your son-in-law really does look like a prince from a story book. I wish them continued health and happiness and continued recovery and a long and happy life together. xxoo
Susan: Thanks so much....a long life for sure!
Fran: Thanks Fran....I pray too :)
Linda: Thanks much...your turn for your spring fresh non entry :)
thanks Sheila: I do believe they are starting a new adventure...for my daughter it's very new...it's different...it's real. :)
Charlene: That's a fact...they are always little girls...and my boy is still my baby at 6 ft. and 275 lbs. lol.
Missy: dori and gerardo are the handsome happy couple ...and yes...you've been following this story...and believe me....it's going to be a fairy tale now :)
Kathy: You better believe....and it would have been nice if you really were there :)
Maggie: After so much turmoil in her young life...yup...it's a RELIEF!
Though I haven't been around for the story behind this union, the joy is palpable in your pictorial. Love is such a gift, with far reaching effects. My hope for your daughter is that the turmoil of her past becomes a distant memory.
Sally, That was one wonderful video to watch. I wish your daughter and her husband years of happiness!
Sally--I remember the post when you picked your daughter up at the airport. Wow has it been that long? Sounds like Dori is in a wonderful place now...Best of luck to her and her new husband!
sally- It seems just like yesterday that I read about your sorrow and yet here you are today with happiness all around. How wonderful. Life is so full of surprises and yet joy is always waiting just around the corner once we take the time to peak. So glad everyone peaked!!
Sally, this was so touching! Once we have kids our lives are forever impacted by theirs: we're happy when they're happy, we're sad when they're not doing well.
She is a beautiful girl and her husband looks so handsome and adoring. The best of luck to them!
Now featured on the Optimist Group.
What a wonderful story --to know Dori made it to this beautiful page in her life... she took control of her life and must feel empowered and proud of her self. Youve been a tremendous role model to her I am sure and to see that smile on her face and know deep down she is secure and truly happy as she became a new bride..wow- what a moment that must have been for you and for her!
Geri: My daughter will be 27 in May and I too...hope it will be a distant memory as well. Thanks for viewing the show.
Me too Barb! Thanks!
Teri: Dec of 2006 was when we picked her up from the airport...I told my story after I became a member here. But yeah...it has been a long time.
Martha: ...peaked...that's different but so appropriate. It is the risks we take that allow us to grow...
Mirela: And the most we can do...after they become adults is guide them...but let them find their way...somehow. :)
Michele: profound moment...to say the least :)
Sally,
What a wonderful Spring forward story...and I am sure it will have a Happy Ending! Congratulations to your daughter and her knight and to you Sally, for getting a healthy daughter back. Wishing her all the happiness that life can bring!
Hi Sally - what a nice story to read and congratulations to all! Your daughter deserves all the happiness in the world, and may she have many years of happy memories.
Ann
Married in the Spring with a fresh new life. You win afterall!
Hi Sally,
Absolutely beautiful....the photos, your daughter, the marriage, the future....
I had a tear in my eye when I read this post...please wish your daughter and her new husband the very best in life and love, from me.
Jo
Sally--I am so happy for both you & Dori. I am a crier so I could use the box of Kleenex right now. I can relate on a very personal level as I was Dori for 25+ years until I finally decided I had enough and left and did not look back. Many times during that 25 yrs I either left, planned to leave, or threatened to leave, but like your daughter I had to be ready to move on with my life. During this time and years after I buried myself in my work and literally became a work-a-holic until My AHA Moment story as told in my contest entry.
I can also relate to you saying that your daughter may have followed your example as she witnessed your relationship early in life. My daughter had several disastrous relationships untilshe finally met & married her husband. Now they have three wonderful children.
I have been reading a few contest posts each day. Glad I started with yours today.
Enjoy spring & life!
Michelle: Thanks you....so far so good...and I have no doubts they will continue on...:)
Thanks Ann! It's a wonderful life!
No kidding Sally!
I will Jo! Thanks for dropping by....nice to see you around!
Mary: Oh, I know posts like this bring back memories...but it reminds me where I came from and where I am going....same for my little girl...believe me...she's on a roll now :)