It's kind of peaceful in here. Uh, who's that talking? Oh, it's the self talk - talking again. It's kind of cool when I can answer me back too. It's kind of like....talking to me in the mirror and holding a conversation. LOL.
Getting some deep questions answered.
We ALL do some self talk from time to time and even ask ourselves questions. It's even better when we can answer ourselves. LOL! Now mind you, the self talk I'm talking about is not voicing your conversation aloud with SELF but being mindful of certain situations and circumstances. (otherwise, when talking aloud in public and answering yourself may get a few odd stares)
Questions to Ask Self may include:
- Why am I being so defensive about another's opinion? My answer can range from wanting everyone to think like me to feeling that I don't have control over a situation. Bottom line? I don't have control over anyone except MYSELF. A great tool for me because I will always cross paths with a client, peer or consumer who does not share the same thinking patterns as I do.
- Am I affecting others in a negative manner? This is one of the most frequent questions I ask myself and the most important because if I'm not aware of my own behavior then I obviously don't l
isten or hear others. This is one of the best tools in Real Estate. The ability to LISTEN to their client's needs and wants. - Am I using Healthy Boundaries I have set for myself? Being positive does not mean I let everyone walk all over me and in business we have to keep our boundaries lest we ALLOW people to start walking all over us. Communication is key to being assertive and telling others what we do and don't want. On the flip side...we respect others boundaries as well.
- Am I saying yes when I really mean no? Again, personal boundaries are healthy and people respect people who set boundaries with them. It shows you respect yourself.Also, resentments add up for the person who is not being honest and telling people how they really feel. A good business, personal or intimate relationship consists of mutual respect and honest communication for their needs.
All the questions I ask self and all the self talk I'm doing allows me to look at self. That IS the only way to define self and keep from being a victim and start looking outside of self. It allows me to agree to disagree. It allows me to be accountable, responsible and honest with self and in turn dictates who I am.
It is with this information that I utilize in my life every day and take into my business. It is with this information that I am in a class all my own..... Individuality.
And with this.... I will classify myself as a good human being.
And allows me to sleep well.....EVERY night.
Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.
© 2007-2012 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.
All rights reserved.
I am soooo hungry right now. I'm on clear liquid diet ALL day for testing tomorrow. Anyone over 50 knows what i'm talking about LOL.
So what do I do? Multi task...blogging, closing out a couple files, and think think think :)
Just so you know, the nice young men, in the clean white coats, are coming to take you to a real nice place soon...(Just kidding!) Good luck with the test tomorrow. Is ia full test where they knock you out, or the partial where you can watch on the monitor, and feel all the pain?
OK Sally, just keep using your fingers to type and perhaps you won't think too much about you know what. Good luck with that by the way.
Great post, very insightful, but not only about yourself. Good things for us all to think about. Thank you.
Thinking is good, deep thinking and reflecting is healthy too! Keeps you on the right track. Hope all is well after testing...
Mike: Knock out....too embarrassing to be awake lol. Anyway, next time you and Randy go to lunch let me know..... and in the meantime, I'll sit here and talk to myself lol.
Andrea: Yeah....trying to :) I'm hungry...I'm hungry....half a day more and I can go to sleep and wake up and get this done with ...in the meantime....I'll talk...lol.
Evelyn: oh, yes it is. Reflection on a day gone by is good too.... it makes for a good end to a day and restful sleep. :)
What do you folks think of the picture? It's really me and I did something or other with Digital Image ....something about filtering :)
Sally..Great photo....very creative really looks like a sound sleep(knew it was you ) good luck with your test...I I could really relate to your post..thank you
helpfulhannah's
Sally some times talking to myself is the only way I can get anyone to talk to me ......... LOL
I got to try that mirror thing thought :) :)
Sally - I find doing this keeps me grounded too. Very interesting picture.
Thanks Hannah
George: Shh....I didn't go there...but you did lol. Rarely do I focus on the mirror anymore....slap some make up on and go...but hey...the talking to self works. When one can't face something looking in the mirror helps....make me....deal with me. lol.
Jennifer: It is grounded. ....lol...the picture I took of me...and then did a filter thing...kind of like those commercials where they make it look not real but it's real people. Okay...did you understand that? LOL
Great questions Sally. This is a list which we all can use to just check on what's really going on inside. Great read!
Sally...
I had a rough exchange on a blog today, and then I got a really nasty email. But I keep yelling myself "You're better than that." Whew.
Aloha Sally,
Tell me, how to you keep coming up with this stuff my friend? You continue to amaze me, thank you.
As for your "Healthy Boundaries..." this one took me a while myself. I had a few, yet not enough, my coaching group was a big help, I learned to set more of them for myself. Do I make exceptions? You bet, yet without boundaries, everything can become an exception.
Thanks!
Hi Sally,
Mahalo for anotherintrospective, constructive, and positive post. It's hard for me to believe you actualloy ask yourself if you positively affect others. I've never know you as anything but positve.
What a wonderful set of questions you've presented here. I'm going to start using them myself.
Mahalo my friend.
Sally, I sleep well too. I wonder sometimes how many people really stop and think about their actions, words, comments or anything else that might affect another. It should be as important as getting washed every day--we need to be the best WE can be.
I think we all need to be aware of the self-talk that is constantly running, whether we're aware of it or not. Good job of drawing it to our attention. It's important to stay positive and focused =)
thanks Lola! It can get pretty deep in there ....ya know what I mean?
Richard: You yell? lol. Yeah...it can be comforting to know that we can talk ourselves out of buying into stuff...that's not to say we're not human...because believe me ... I will voice my opinions. :) Good for you Richard!
Linda: Everyday moments in thought my friend! Something happens...I get a thought and surely run with it! Yeah...exceptions with my kids....not much as they are adults but sometimes :)
Marlene: I am as human as the next person Marlene...and there will be sometimes that I let my emotions get the best of me....the best thing is...I hold myself accountable and am responsible to get up off my behind and acknowledge, apologize and move on. Believe me...these are just a few questions....I have a day full of questions ...each and every day. :)
Carole: No kidding. It's as routine for me as picking up after myself. I leave nothing for others to pick up :) If I am not aware... I would have no conscience. Hmmm...there are plenty out there like that aren't there?
Lisa: I'd rather be aware....otherwise, that relapse in the mind will occur :)
Featured @ Club Chaos
Great post once again. I think each of us need to constantly evaluate our answers to these important questions. Thank you.
Thanks CTS
Paddy: Maybe I should do a part two with more lol
Everyone: I'll be back later on....got a dr. appt.
missed the note about the test. As you know I just went through it too. Yuck. Good news for me though I am now on a "3 year plan" rather than every year Yeah I wish you good news.
"Why am I being so defensive about another's opinion"
Love this one...I try really hard not to let this get to me...and if I dont let their opinion rub me the wrong way, I always feel better !
Nice reminders Sal !!!
Cheers !
Sheldon
Paddy: Finally got up to check email and stuff....yup...they knocked me out and left me nauseated and slept after I came home. I have a five year plan. I guess better to be safe when blood shows up :)
Sheldon: Exactly....leave it in their court...it's theirs to own...just like ours is. Your baby is such a cutie:)
WOo Hoo! I love the picture. It is a keeper. Your reflections about your self talk is likely what put you where you are today. And that is now) an awesome place. I hope the rest us are as good at, with equally good results. Did I mention that I love the picture? :-) It says it all.
Thanks William...I'll email you.
Well you sure found a way to entertain yourself LOL :) think, think think :)
kathy: oh...you know me....entertaining self is an art lol