Are you wanting to make your Home Buying experience a less stressful? How about a pain free transaction? A loan process that requires no kinks or last minute documentation? Or how's about a ‘perfect' escrow officer and a home inspector that only charges $2.00?
I'm here to tell you to wash away that mindset that everything in your Home Buying Experience should pull off without any quirks and qualms. As human beings, we are not perfect anyway. We all will make a mistake at some point in our lives and being realistic is knowing that EVERYONE WILL NOT THINK LIKE YOU.
We know that your Home Buying experience is going to be stressful to a point because there is just so much involved and so many people who will have to work together. Team players include YOU the Home Buyer too. It is one of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime and also one of the most stressful situations in one's lifetime anyway.
When any party to the transaction goes above and beyond to create stress is becomes a heartache transaction and it really isn't necessary to:
- Criticize the loan officer and create unimaginable emotions in an email Instead, pick up the phone or ask if there's something else that you can do to help make the process go smoother. If something is asked for at the last minute believe that they are thinking in your best interests and truly not there to screw you over.
- Criticize the escrow officer and call the company incompetent Instead, fly an email and ask if they can please be more timely with their responses. Ask them if they need anything from you. Be timely in your responses back as well.
- Tell the agent to flake off when you're angry at another party If your agent has worked well with you up until this point then why get mad at them because something else didn't ....go your way. Your agent is there to guide you and think in your best interests. Not to barf on.
- The home inspector is ripping you off Step into another's shoes and really see that a professional home inspector spends hours in that home to go through everything to ensure you have a detailed report on every nook and cranny. They are there thinking in your best interests so you are apprised of all that may be right or wrong with the home.
- Play real estate agent and the know it all Yes, ask questions. At the same time LISTEN to the answers. Communication is key to success. Key to communication is listening. That's the whole reason you contacted the agent to begin with; to get great representation throughout your Home Buying process.
I have learned that there are no two transactions ever alike and there will be bumps and snags along the way. There has NEVER been a perfect transaction but we can all make it ....less stressful situation by working together instead of against each other when something didn't go ...perfectly.
Stress-Less Your Home Buying Experience
Work Together for a Smooth Transaction.
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............The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with one another. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what's wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on what's wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.
"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"..... Richard Carlson, PHD
Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.
© 2007-2011 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.
All rights reserved.
Sally - I regret to say I let a situation get the best of me the other day. Unfortunately, my buyers are losing out on a home due to the lender requiring so much from the seller of the property. I will try not to sweat it next time, but I feel real bad for my buyers.
Troy...I know it's so easy to say...to not sweat the small stuff...but most times telling myself ...I have no control over anyone except me..usually gives me the kick in the rear at those times....
Sally, It is the rare transaction that doesn't have hiccups along the way. I remember when I first got in to real estate 14 years ago and people were saying with the Internet real estate agents would be obsolete. With all the hiccups along the way someone has to steer and that's what a good agent does.
Hi Sally...great summary of events with buying and selling for everyone...in review you said it right no two transactions are the same.
I was reading a book recently by Tony Robbins. It mentioned how futile criticism can be. I think you nailed that point on the head!
Sally - there are no slam dunk escrows anymore. As Marchel mentioned, every transaction has hiccups these days. The key though is to have experienced professionals working the transaction who can resolve these hiccups and can hopefully do it in the professional manner that is expected of them. While we all know this, sometimes stress does get the best of us.
Sally, That was such a good book....but when things go wrong, people want someone to blame...and it's never themselves :) It is a stressful time but blaming everyone just makes it worse.
In the grand scheme of things, it really is all small stuff. I wish I could remember that when I let a silly driver get the best of me on the road.
Good morning Sally,
Great advice and book! Humans make mistakes and things will go wrong but it's how we maneuver around the obstacles that matters. Things will work out if it is meant to be!
Can't we all just get along? Those words need to be on every offer and and every listing agreement!
Indeed, we need to remember that we are here for a relatively short time and always ask ourselves 'is this really worth it?' - great post!
An outstanding post that summarizes the events with buying and selling. I always live by if things work out and then it is suppose to be. Have a good week!!
An outstanding post that summarizes the events with buying and selling. I always live by if things work out and then it is suppose to be. Have a good week!!
"I have learned that there are no two transactions ever alike"
Sally, you have nailed this! And I have to tell you that I love the Small stuff book too!
Hi Sally - Excellent advice. And it carries over to all parts of our lives. I find that taking a deep breath and solving a problem is a lot less stressful than agonizing over it - and if it is treated lightly, my client and I or the short sale negotiator and I (or whoever) can laugh our way through just about anything. I always try to avoid any mishaps or bumps in the road, but when they occur, it is not arms and legs, it is just a nuisance to be dealt with. By the way, the book in your illustration is a VERY good book, and I recommend it.
Aloha Sally,
I've learned that the better informed the consumer (whether buyer or seller) the easier it is for all concerned. Most consumersfeel so out of control and that's a huge part of the stress, therefore keeping people informed (in bite size pieces) and in the loop (even when there is nothing new to report) help immensely.
Lynda: I agree....and that's the bottom line. Keeping everyone informed and staying on top of it would create less stress.... I do however not excuse a client who creates stress unnecessarily and thought about a couple of instances that brought to mind the significance of unneeded stress.
Susan: I drag it out every once in awhile. It does the mind..and body good :)
Hey Russell! Me too! Can't control others...but we sure can control ourselves. :)
Lizette: No kidding....And if it doesn't ...it wasn't :)
Barb: Time's too short right?
Gary: You think?
Dorie: Spoken words of a true positive.
Maggie: Funny...I mumble all the way to work :)
Carole: No kidding. Why create more negative vibes than what's really going on?
Donna: I think at most times I'm immune to the negative emotions....and do try to turn it around. Negativity rubs off and so does positivity too :)
Chris: Yup...and that's about the bulk of it.
Fred: Just as no two people are the same :)
Marchel: Absolutely! And that's what it's all about isn't it? We are professionals and though we may have others around us who are creating havoc...we need not. :)
sally - more and more it takes teamwork to close the deal if one member of the team is not holding up their end the stress levels ramp up rapidly
Sally,
Am headed to a closing on my "train wreck deal" in which my buyer mentioned suing the seller and listing agent many times! Using the kind of tips you mentioned, we worked through issues one by one. Keeping a sense of humor also helped - I kept reminding my buyer that the highest priority was to get me a paycheck!
I get blamed for all of the above but now counsel the buyers on exactly what should be happening and when. I think we, as the agent, are so much in the forefront that we get blamed for everything. Just picking up the phone can solve a ton of problems, and educating the consumer!
Sally, it's good advice. Then when there really is something goofy happening, you'll still be hydrated enough to sweat that!