Hawaii Real Estate | Hawaii Relocations | Hawaii Home Buying & Selling


Top 3 Blogging Tips on ActiveRain

LegacySeeing as this is a post on the emotional aspect while blogging, please note that these are things I learned in the beginning of my blogging life on ActiveRain. It helped me to realize that just because people commented on my post, I had to step in the other person’s shoes so I could see the possibilities of where the person was coming from.

I once had a post (a whole page long post) about me and why I kicked their posts out of the group I created, “Positive Attitude for the Weary Soul” (PAWS for short). I didn’t realize how negative and mean some could be until it happened to me. I even had members get mad because I didn’t pick their post to be featured in the group, or even get this…because their post didn’t win in one of the contests I hosted.

Bottom line, is this isn’t all about me….or you. It’s about getting our information out to the consumer. We can all write about the same topic but bottom line….the information coming from each of us will (guaranteed) be different and maybe even better than the next person.

So, here’s my Top 3 Blogging Tips (Negative or Positive…you make that choice)

  1. Don’t Assume What the Blogger is “Thinking”. If you are only looking at the scenario with YOUR thinking instead of stepping in the other person’s shoes and finding out their side to the story, then THIS is the ultimate ASSUMPTION in any ‘conversation’. PICK UP THE PHONE AND TALK TO THE PERSON. You may find that your thinking (assumptions) had the person all wrong!  

  2. Don’t Take it Personal When a Commenter Gives Constructive Criticism. How do you even know if the Commenter is GIVING any criticism at all? Wow! Does this all lead back to ASSUMING? Give the benefit of the doubt before ‘striking back’ and making a fool of yourself with your bantering and online slaps. IT REALLY ISN’T ALL ABOUT YOU OR ME. We’re so vain, we probably think this song is about you. LOL

  3. Be Kind and Considerate. We are being straight forward in all our online writing as in real life face to face.. Be it writing a post or commenting on another’s, we are kind and considerate because after all, we are here to write about our real estate industry knowledge and even about our local area.. Ranting in a post or in a comment shows your true colors. BOTTOM LINE IS OUR ONLINE WRITING IS ONLINE FOREVER! Pause and wait until your mind has let go of the ‘stinking thinking’ mentality. The scenario changes!

    We leave our Legacy Behind with every written word we write online. We are born and we pass away, but it’s what we do in between those 2 life events is what REALLY matters.



    When in doubt…..

    Pick up the phone….

    Be the better person.



Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman  is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs  she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.


 © 2007-2015 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's

Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.

All rights reserved.





Comment balloon 55 commentsCeleste "SALLY" Cheeseman • September 05 2015 11:14AM


You hit the nail on the head. Once you are online you are online. removing something you may regret saying is difficult if not impossible. Create the impression you want people to have of you.

Posted by Jane Peters, Los Angeles real estate concierge services (Home Jane Realty) about 4 years ago

It's a lesson some of us need to be constantly reminded about. Thanks, Sally.

Posted by Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty, 601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell (Front Gate Real Estate) about 4 years ago

Thanks Jane! I wish others would catch the hint. In the beginning, I'd take things personal....I found out what personal was....they had to delete the guy's post!

Sure do Pat...it's worth reminding....even to myself :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

Very interesting post but I do believe it's titled wrong.  It's not 3 blogging tips, it's 3 ways not to get kicked out of a group.  We blog for business and could care less what any comentator says.  I just recently left a group because I didn't fit what they wanted.  No big deal however, the commentator was upset I left and told me to please stay even though I could not post to their group.  What????

Posted by Chris and Dick Dovorany, Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty ( Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida) about 4 years ago

I wrote this when I read a comment of Facebook. It was downright rude...saying f your company. I was appalled but obviously the person didn't care what she wrote. SHe even said she had a 1 and 2 year old, previously evicted and this is what she will be teaching her children.

It wasn't meant just for groups. It's overall for one's attitude that they carry online.

I agree with you on the leaving the group if it didn't fit what you needed...but usually they have a breakdown of what the group entails. Groups have kind of went to the wayside for awhile but maybe they're making a comeback. I don't even see a link or tab anymore?

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

Hi Sally-I had to laugh about you kicking someone out for being negative.

Your group (PAWS) which I happen to belong too, is not for negativity!

Posted by Marco Giancola, Realtor (305)608-1922, Miami Beach Florida (Beachfront Realty) about 4 years ago

Marco...back then I didn't laugh. There were some really negative people who jumped on in just to make fun of the ones who wrote some really nice positive posts.....yes, even about real estate transactions :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

I always welcome constructive criticism, it is how we can all learn. The people that are just completely negative I learn to just ignore, that is the best way I've found to deal with it.

Posted by Stefan Winter, Owner - Winter Group & Real Estate Web Tech (Real Estate in IL & NV | Owner of Real Estate Web Tech | Daily Vlogger) about 4 years ago

Sally, complaining about not being featured in a group or not wining a contest ... well that just take a ton of nerve from my perspective.  Yes, people can be mean ... that is for sure. Learning not to take what others say and do remains a real top challenge for me in my life.  Deleting removes it but the power of the punch remains. I wish there were a switch ... done and done.

Posted by Kathleen Daniels, San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist (KD Realty - 408.972.1822) about 4 years ago

It never surprises me what people say and do. I for one stay away from the drama aspect of all the online nonsense. I truly don't want to have anything I say come back to haunt me. It is crazy what people are willing to say online these days. 

Posted by Janis Borgueta, LIC RE Salesperson (Key Properties of the Hudson Valley ) about 4 years ago

Stefan: It sure is...that's the beauty of AR.  It's when the line of construction criticism into rudeness is when the thought of "the legacy we leave behind' comes to mind.

Kathleen: That's for sure!  Not once do those that complain stop to think ....maybe their post was not feature worthy ...or contest winning worthy.  I suppose they just wanted a feature just to be 'noticed'.  Bottom line, write good content and it will be considered! Yes, the power of the punch is hard to ignore. It's like that punch went ten fold into my tummy!

Janis:  Drama usually is for those that want attention...no matter if negative or positive. ....something like a child who was ignored....

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

What do you mean, it's not all about me?  What?

Posted by Alan May, Helping you find your way home. (Jameson Sotheby's International Realty) about 4 years ago

I do have to disagree that one should just accept criticism in a comment. I think that totally depends upon the post.  Members only, criticize away, no big deal, but in a public pointed post and especially a public pointed post that is hyper local... if you don't have something nice to say you should just step away.  This isn't yelp where you get to review my review on a business.

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) about 4 years ago

Alan, I should probably call Sally and get clarification but, indeed, it is all about you!   ;-)

Posted by Brian L. Sirota, Esq., For Solutions: (714) 501-7660 (Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney)) about 4 years ago

Hi Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman 

I find sometimes something I worked really hard on doesn't get featured and other posts do which surprises me. We all like to get featured but I don't complain as there are so many of us and only so many features to go around. I am careful what I say on AR as it is out there forever.

Posted by Kristin Hamilton CA Realtor, (909) 557-6966- Specialize 55+ Communties Banning (Sun Lakes Realty) about 4 years ago

Am I supposed to be able to comment on each comment?

Alan: I totally forgot about you...who is the exception lol!

Tammy: There is that fine line...actually a big line when crosses over from constructive to downright rude.

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

Sally- I love this post.  Seeing what we see in print is just two dimensional.  Sometimes the words aren't meant to come across as they do.  You never know, nor can you assume. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) about 4 years ago

There are so many personalities here. You're definitely not going to please everyone but there's a fine line between constructive criticism and being rude. Unfortunately you can't hear voice inflection or determine the mood in which a comment is being made and a lot of things can get lost in translation. 

Posted by Nicole Doty - Gilbert Real Estate Expert, Broker/Owner of Zion Realty ZionRealtyAZ.com (Zion Realty) about 4 years ago

Great advice, Sally. It really would be impossible to know the thought or intent of a writer when he/she writes a blog or comments on one. It behooves us to err on the side of grace every time. 

Posted by Mike Cooper, GRI, Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro (Cornerstone Business Group Inc) about 4 years ago

All three of your tips are on point Sally, no one can interpret someone's intentions when you cannot see facial expressions or voice inflections.  Great post!

Posted by Evelyn Johnston, The People You Know, Like and Trust! (Friends & Neighbors Real Estate) about 4 years ago

Sally - great points



When in doubt…..

Pick up the phone….

Be the better person.

Posted by Joan Whitebook, Consumer Focused Real Estate Services (BHG The Masiello Group) about 4 years ago

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman I wonder why some people think what they do is the only RIGHT thing! I am sure they are here by accident and have never read community guidelines.

Posted by Praful Thakkar, Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale (LAER Realty Partners) about 4 years ago

Congrats Celeste on your featured blog, hopefully you can keep them coming, topics that are featured take blogging talent!

Posted by Vick The Realtor . (Olympus Executive Realty INC.) about 4 years ago

Hi Sally...It is just as easy to be pleasant and decent as it is to be crass and hurtful. In fact it is often easier. I'll take the easy way out every time. When you are hurtful it doesn't only hurt the other person, it takes a toll on you as well.


Posted by Kate Elim, Realtor 540-226-1964, Selling Homes & Land a (Dockside Realty) about 4 years ago

Wow Sally, very well written from the heart with a strong powerful message for all bloggers to remember...thanks.

Posted by Bob Ratliff, "Sold with Bob" (Robert Ratliff Realty) about 4 years ago

Good morning, Sally... I very nice post/set of tips. And while I agree that constructive critcism shouldn't be taken negatively, I also feel there's no room for negative/insulting comments from AR members that pop up from time to time on posts. Also, a great reminder that once be put it out there in the "blogosphere" it's there forever.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage ) about 4 years ago

If you disagree with a blogger...and of course that happens....beginning the comment with ..."I respectfully disagree with your view because in my market/experience....etc..."  is a more polite way to begin explaining another viewpoint.

Posted by Sally K. & David L. Hanson, WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce (EXP Realty 414-525-0563) about 4 years ago

I have on occasion had to hold back from saying what was on my mind -- this is true of posts, facebook comments, etc.  Knowing our words will always be there once they are put in the 'cloud' is impetus for restraint.

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (406-270-3667 (MT), 914-419-0270 (NY), Broker in NY with Grand Lux Realty and in MT with (coming soon!)) about 4 years ago

Thanks for sharing. Made me think!

Posted by Barrett Henry, SRS, MRP, ePRO, The NOW Team is your RE/MAX team for Tampa FL (RE/MAX Bay to Bay) about 4 years ago

Excellent points - I learned the never assume point well:

It can be seen as:  Making an

ass -(of) - You - (and/or) Me.

Assumptions never rely on anything but emotion!


Posted by Debra B Albert, PA - Keyes Realty, Ron and Debbie 772.708.3292 (Keyes Realty Treasure Coast, 34986) about 4 years ago

Alan May lol and thank you. On this post and hostess, steady as she posts!

Posted by Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty ) about 4 years ago

Thank you for the blogging tips.  Hopefully we can all learn something from the criticism.  But reality is some people are just going to be haters so if the criticism is mean-spirited, I just delete it.  Seldom is though on AR. 

Posted by Rob Arnold, Metro Orlando Full Service - Investor Friendly & F (Sand Dollar Realty Group, Inc.) about 4 years ago

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman - Well done. We need to be able to accept constructive feedback and grow.



Posted by Thomas F. Scanlon, CPA, CFP (Borgida & Company P. C., CPA's) about 4 years ago

I'll never forget when I got my first negative comment, it was devastating. But...it turned into a great conversation and I actually changed my mind, which has helped me tremendously. 

Posted by Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner, Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395 (Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395) about 4 years ago

Sally - we truly do "leave our legacy behind" in the words we write.  They have staying power and should be carefully written.

Posted by Margaret Goss, Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate (Baird & Warner Real Estate) about 4 years ago

I often refrain from voicing what I'm really thinking since I've been bitten by some who take comments too personally and appear to take them as criticism rather than possible suggestions. Also, I just don't have the time to waste. Unless, I'm asked, I've learned to keep it to myself.

Posted by Frank Castaldini, Realtor - Homes for Sale in San Francisco (Compass) about 4 years ago

     Negative comments...  read them carefully... can you learn from them? 

    Or, are they just "Trolls", or envious people, or ignorant people. 

    Take a moment to see who they are, and where they are coming from!

Posted by Fred Griffin, on leave of absence from ActiveRain, Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker (Fred Griffin Real Estate) about 4 years ago

Sally - Great advice for all of us who play in the sand here at AR. We are all different, but we can still get along.

Posted by Troy Erickson AZ Realtor (602) 295-6807, Your Chandler, Ahwatukee, and East Valley Realtor (Good Company Real Estate www.ChandlerRealEstate.weebly.com) about 4 years ago

great reminder ! I've seen a few fights break out fueled by comments !

Posted by Michael J. Perry, Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist (KW Elite ) about 4 years ago

Thank you, Celeste,  which leads to the question, Can we really be ourselves in public? Everyone has opinions, perhaps it is the way they are conveyed. No one wants to be slapped down for giving their point of view. Bravo for asking to receive a phone call instead of a rant online. The same goes for texting. Too much can get lost in the translation from mouth to paper, computer.or cellphone.  Best to work out things, when possible, through conversation.

Posted by Janice Zaltman, South Florida Residential Real Estate (United Realty Group) about 4 years ago

Seems that most of us are thinking along the same lines here...when it comes to negative/ positive commenting /writing.
Why risk ones reputation to just get in the last word and try and beat someone down.
Mahalo for taking the time to read and engage in the conversation!

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 4 years ago

Brilliant Sally, I love your shadow photos to. Congratulations on the feature too. I really learned something here. look at what you write through the reader eyes.

Posted by Noah Seidenberg, Chicagoland and Suburbs (800) 858-7917 (Coldwell Banker) about 4 years ago

Good post! We live in a world of self entitled people who think they can blast you if you write something they disagree with or not what they would. Be nice, be respectful, and don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say. and yes pick up the phone and call them if you have an issue!

Posted by Chris Mamone, Senior Loan Officer (Keller Mortgage) about 4 years ago

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman,  Thank you for sharing your thoughts on blogging and comments.  It is important to try to look at the other person's perspective.

Posted by Sybil Campbell, REALTOR® ABR, SFR, SRES Williamsburg, Virginia (Long and Foster REALTORS® 5234 Monticello Ave Williamsburg, Virginia) about 4 years ago

I'm here from Lenn's reblog...so glad she shared it. Excellent advice Sally! Excellent advice for all bloggers!

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) about 4 years ago

We have to be very careful with reading blogs and stuff on the internet; sometimes we can't see the nuances of language when it's written as opposed to tone and body language in conversations.

Posted by Darren Copeland, Darren Copeland (Leader One Financial) about 4 years ago

Hello and congratulations on your featured blog post! Well done and hope to see you have many more featured post.

Posted by Mery Fernandez Empire Network Realty Luxury Brokerage, The Rise of An Empire, Let's Build Yours! (Empire Network Realty INC.) about 4 years ago

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman 

I really liked this post but somehow missed it until I saw Lenn's reblog. I especially think the point about not making assumptions is so important - in our written as well as verbal communications, when we meet people, and so on. It's probably a bit of human nature to do this, and it becomes a habit. Not always easy to avoid.

The reminder to not make assumptions is a good one and can be made over and over.


Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) about 4 years ago

Celeste - Nice post. I think you're right about this being a legacy that we leave behind. 

Posted by Dana Hollish Hill, Lead Associate Broker (Hollish Hill Group, KW Capital Properties) about 4 years ago

All good points Sally.  I hope you had a great vacation!

Posted by Maureen Fukumoto, Maureen (Help-U-Sell Realty Pro) about 4 years ago

Hi Sally,

Great post!  It took me a very long time to realize "I don't have to be right all the time" especially when someone else is insisting they are...   It's OK to let go of being right and save a relationship.  I just let them vent and in the long run I have way more peace!

Posted by Linda D. Pufford, ASPM, Marin/Sonoma Home Stager (Stage with Divine Style - Home Staging) almost 4 years ago

Why would someone being upset about a comment? if it is a spam~ report and delete, if is a suggestion, take it to a consideration, or even better, reach out, you might learn  a lot from someone who probably wants to help you to become a better blogger. 

Posted by Inna Ivchenko, Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA (Barcode Properties) almost 4 years ago

Sally, I'm on ActiveRain to better my business and my life, when appropriate. I learn a lot and I do my best to share to help others. 

I don't understand the folks that feel they need to make negative comments. What purpose does that serve?

Posted by Donna Foerster, Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant (HomeSmart Realty Group) about 3 years ago

Wow...this is still going on.

Thanks all. Yup! Bottom line...we're here to market ourselves, our areas and give the reader a little something about me so they can get a little grasp of the person they're entrusting to buy/sell their home!

No purpose to be negative...except to make people run away HA!

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, (RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE (Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

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