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Hi Celese;

Great post and very informative, I appreciated your writing very much. Thank you for sharing.

Being a Professional On AND Off line.

That would be my choice.  Great post and spot on - I hope that others will read this post.

Celeste~

It really is very easy to alienate our peers. I think just earlier today, I may have alienated a prospect by replying to his e;mail too quickly without more thought. I always say; "Think twice, type once".

I read in a publication by NAR recently, that real estate [agents & brokers] are about the only business where competitors are required to cooperate with each-other! Its true- what about alienating the ones we are required to cooperate with?

Sally, I agree.  Restraint is key in blogging and in commenting.

I always subscribe to the theory- we are all in this together.....Thanks for a great reminder that we HAVE to be kind....Its just not worth it to not work together- or respect others experiences!

Woo-Hoo: ahhhh..if the world were perfect, huh? Particularly in this business, ugliness can raise its nasty head. We (I) all get uptight here and there, as most of us (I'm) are very passionate people.  The COE should be used in life as well as Real Estate, but well...   I so agree about NOT mentioning names or company names, ever, when one is ranting or tattling!

 It sounds like we have the same rules and codes as you (in R.E) and my favorite is the "Golden Rule," which we are supposed to adhere to.

With 110,000 Rainers here, we are going to get into heated interesting discussions once in a while (the passionate people thing), but it would be NICE if we didn't.

I betcha get a GOLD STAR for this one, as it would be well deserved!

Sally,

Good advice! Those who choose your first option probably won't read this!!! Too bad! Thanks,   Fran

Sally   I just don't get it when people don't follow the simple "golden rule".  I am amazed how often I her complaints (I am the grievance chair) about the unprofessional behavior of my colleagues.  I guess there simply is no way to stop it.  I think  posts like your are a good reminder and step in the right direction.

this is the reason that we are Realtors, we follow the golden rule. goood post.

I believe in cooperation and helping each other to achieve common goals... but we find SO MUCH UNPROFESSIONALISM in this business. I am seriously sick of it. I don't blog names but do blog situations and over and over again I am sick with what I see from other agents.

We should not blast each other but we should have some sort of system to police ourselves. I have come across many incompetent agents in my time in real estate and finance but have yet to blast by name. If we had a way to police each other, we might find the level of professionalism increase.

Who wants to see their name attached to a negative comment.

If only the people who are the offenders would read this! Of course it probably wouldn't make them change their ways but we can only hope.

You are absolutely right. We need to build up...not tear down. I hope everyone reads this. GBU!

Sally, I agree we should all be polite and professional to each other.  Sometimes I try to ask questions about some actions but never want to mention names or be too specific.

Sally you said it all in the first paragraph, and I share Monika's thoughts.

Hi Sally,

Most often, a speaker's comments about someone else tell more about the speaker than the person he is talking about.

Thanks,   Laurie

Sally,

   I always enjoy your posts, and sadly since I'm fairly new have only recently read/experienced the darker side of AR where unkind comments are made; though thankfully not to me.  Our industry breeds competition and in that vein there can be some nastiness that's true, in person or on line.  I was always brought up on "follow the golden rule" and treat others as you would like to be treated in work and day to day. I may not have it down pat but I'm practicing!

And to Laurie- SPOT ON!

Thanks Anthony,

Tim and Pam...maybe...just maybe this will help some realize.

Bottom line Mott: I do believe in civil interactions with all involved in our industry...makes for better teamwork.

Shirley: At least the bashing and ranting and raving should be :)

Dawn: We ARE all in this together...it's just a matter of puffing up for ego...or just accepting that others may not do things the way they are supposed to...but there are better ways to handle it...call the broker...but to rant online publicly is not right.

I believe the COE stays in effect on or off line. Honestly it appears that there are peers that forget this in their daily practice.

Kat: I do believe that we walk the talk in life as in our profession. No matter what ....I just shake my head at these rants and think.... "i wouldn't want to work on the other side of that person either". :)

Fran: Some of them will...and just turn the other way and keep on doing it...like they have for quite awhile now.

Sally Jo, I'm all for supporting the positive side of Realtors online. Unfortunately, there will always be a contingent of those involved in practices that compromise the whole. In that scenario, criticizing the whole is sometimes better (in a local situation) than compromising one's self.

Sally - When you get roses from the flower shop all the thorns are gone and you get a beautiful bouquet of highly scented flowers but if you get them from the garden they come thorns, bugs and all.

While a pro's posts and comments come via the flower shop some others come straight from the garden thorns, bugs and all.

some times the ugly comes out in all of us - thanks for reminding all of us to be nice

Joan: Any step is a good step...and we can all take steps together. Ah but the life of malcontents :)

Donald: If only ALL would follow too....

Erica: Granted there are a few bad apples in this bunch ...I'm just happy the majority I deal with are not.

Mike: I agree....I know a few who do though...they 'get off' on blasting others ....and so freely. These are the ones that need not be in the business...to blast another peer publicly is not the way to go.

Monika: Hope and hope and wish....we need to all put our words into action....for the positive side....I surely do not want to be associated with the "mouths" the braggers who mouth bad about others and act like all the quantity of transactions they do make up for unethical behavior. Shame on them!

Elizabeth: What good does tearing down do put make us all look bad for their mouthing.

Audrey: Asking or relating bad experiences but not specifically naming anyone is okay....naming property and not a name is not good....we all can look up who they're talking about anyway...geez.

George: Okay..you gave me a hug earlier...I'll give you one back now too ((((HUG))))

Laurie: Too bad they don't see that :)  :)

Hey Cat: Sad but true. You said, "Our industry breeds competition and in that vein there can be some nastiness that's true, in person or on line."    Yup....so why would anyone want to let the competition get in the way of professionalism?  The open hand...that's what.

Trey:  Yeah...their big heads  is what gets in the way. :)  Ego and a false sense of pride seem to blur ones vision.

Laurie: Dur..lol!  Boy are you insightful!  How ya been auntie?

Kathy: Yeah....dragging in the riff raff I would assume :)

Thesa: No ugly here...no matter what...no flat out bashing from us.

Aloha Sally,

Thank you for such an enlightening post. 

Something else to consider, not all agents are REALTORS®. Therefore not bound to the Code of Ethics. Have a problem with them? Can't go to the local board or association for a violation, nope! The only regulation is, by way of the licensing entity of your individual state, of which most have faced cut-backs therefore far to little regualtion (imho). Meaning agents vs. REALTORS are not bound to the same guidelines, legal? Yes. ETHICAL that's another situation.  

I've written a post, yet not finalized on the subject that not all agents are REALTORS®. Maybe some day.

Lynda: Yeah...they're not all Realtors® and neither are LO's or anyone else in the business.....but we should all hold ourselves to higher standards when dealing with peoples lives..... I'd really like to read that one...I hope you finish soon!

I read three posts just this morning that put down a co-op agent.  Just had to shake my head and wonder "what were they thinking??"   Just because you don't use a name doesn't mean you aren't looking awful by doing so, and quite possibly setting yourself up for CoE charges.

It also makes me wonder about how they would talk about me if I referred business to them or co-op'd with them.

Morning Sally,

Fine post! I hope those in need read it and see themselves in a light of improvement.

Kris: Funny how many thinks it does although some stories (as long as it isn't bashing but showing an example) we learn from

Hal: And those who don't are blind :)

I write about situations I have faced from other agents.  I never mention names or companies.  I feel it is OK to discuss behaviors, but not to slam an individual.

Randy...I agree....and behaviors are what drives our industry and really we need to be aware of the ramifications.

Hi Sally, I thank you too, for posting this...........we don't need negatives around us and we should all remember that we are on the same team.

Unfortunately, I think the number of agents who think like DIANNE and many many Active Rainers are NOT of the positive, professional mindset. I wish I didn't believe that, but I do.

It's ok to vent ....but my golden rule is to never mention a name or a company...it only adds to trouble. Nothing wrong with talking about a situation that happens but I would refrain from exposing them...the world is crazy with lawsuits.

Sally- Thanks for this and all of your posts.  We walk a fine line and you have reminded me to be more careful when I am concerned.  Thank you for leading by doing!

Well put Sally ...  I love your writing style!

Aloha and thanks for putting it so well.  There is just no room for it in our business, period.  Karma, the Thumper Rule, whatever you want to call it ... simple if you haven't got anything nice to say in regards to a fellow realtor don't say it!  We are all in this together!  Thank you!

I agree with Laurie,

Most often, a speaker's comments about someone else tell more about the speaker than the person he is talking about.

Sally, It was only a few years ago that Feng Shui began a code of ethics.  I can't say it is always followed but we should set by example in how we act, what we do, say and write---and always in the manner we treat our clients.  I don't know why this seems to be a hard concept for some.

Sally- Being rude is petty and imature IMO no matter what business you are in or not. People can be really mean and that is sad. Comments online are easily found by google alerts and even searches so people need to think twice before being rude. Now, we can disagree and we can even be firm, but name calling and yelling and such is not appropriate on or offline.

Great post Sally as always you sure are on point. I guess from what I see on A/R in the heat of a discussion some don't realize or think about what they're saying. I hae always said though with our COE we are held to higher standards than any other profession or though it seems.

Yes Dianne! We're all on the same team!

Erica: There are good and bad in all industries....it's just the ones who think they are so awesome and ranting about another are right there with the one they're ranting about.

Neal: You're so right...best to stay away from those that rant and especially with specifics.

Thanks Jane...every little bit of support for who we are and what we do is important.

Thanks Pippa...

Shannon: Again...not many have common sense and only concerned with the puffing of ego....and they do not realize it's them that they have to worry about.

Celeste - I agree with Erica in that I always try to cooperate with the Realtors as well as anyone else involved in my clients transaction of buying a home.  However, like Erica, I, too, have had to deal with so much unprofessional attitudes directed at either me or my clients for no other reason than because they felt like it.

I also try to live by the Golden Rule of treating others as I would want them to treat me but sometimes, I find it extremely difficult and sometimes even impossible to be kind and gracious to someone who is incredibly rude, obnoxious and disrespectful to me and/or my clients.

There's no reason for that and as far as I'm concerned, people like that don't deserve me or my clients respect.

Deanna: Yup...blind leading the blind....lol!

Carole: They can't see past their own thinking....wow...that's spooky :)

Katerina: No kidding...  and saying off the wall comments are so wrong.

Celeste - thank you for writing this!  I hope everyone reads it.  Everything you have said here resonates with me. There is only one choice for me ... Being a professional on and off line.

Great post Celeste.  I just can't seem to understand why someone feels the need to tear someone else down.  I take it the person doing that must have a lot to feel insecure about because it's fear that usually breeds that kind of behavior and mentality.  Unfortunate really.  All I know is I treat everyone the same way I want to be treated.  I won't talk about realtors to other realtors in my professional life or talk about anyone in my personal life unless I'm dealing with them directly to resolve an issue.  Mom always told me and I live by it - If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it. Thanks for the great post - I enjoy your writing! ~Anne Marie

I agree with you completely. I sometimes think that people say things online that they would never say face to face.

Excellent post! And so true. We have specific instructions to NOT bad-mouth other REALTORS, yet some REALTORS do it all the time. It's sad because what they're really doing is showing the condition of their own hearts.

Charles: No matter what profession....anyone involved wtih lives in the real estate industry should hold themselves to higher standard anyway.... :)

Donna; We all have one thing in common...the client. And it's everyones client ..including escrow, title, Loan Officers, appraisers, home inspectors and everyone involved in the transaction that should be all working together as a team to get it done...not niggle and harp on the "other person" ...it doesn't get anywhere.

Kathleen: Then I guess you're one of the pros here online and off :) That's what we need ....more of you!

Anne Marie: You are 100% correct...it's the fear people have (insecure and low self esteem) that cut down others 'thinking' it's making them look better. Bragging and puffing egos is not what this industry needs. We need Realtors® and professional to just do their job right thinking only in the best interests of their clients.

Wayne: We know that for the most part...they would not say it face to face....but then why do it here?  On the other hand...there are some who would do it face to face too. Let's just puff up our industry with our positive attitudes that WE know we have. It should override the malcontents anyway :)

Lisa: Specific Instructions....can you imagine how these that do so 'follow any instructions"?

Sally... you make some excellent points. We should control our tone of comments. But I also believe that if I read something that is totally wrong or misleading... or in one case, illegal, I will speak my mind. I will try to do it professionally, but I am still leaving a comment. And at times, depending on what side of the fence that you are on, it can come acorss strong or harsh. But the public needs to know... just my .02.  Great post...

Jeff: It's one thing to give your opinion and correct information...another to downright cut another professional down online with bashing and ranting and such. And doing it professionally (like you stated) IS the proper way.....not to go out of ones way to cut someone down. (the I'm better than and that so and so is a rotten agent) We all have our stories to tell about the rotten agent or home inspector or the loan officer too....just we can tell our story in hopes others will learn...leave comments with correct info (or what we believe it to be) and if it's illegal....by all means confront and give the information that consumers need to know. There IS a difference between discussion and bashing.

Sally....  I agree... yet, I am human, and sometimes the passion and emotion steps in. I guess it just depends on my respect for that person.  Again, just my .02.  But your points are very valid.

Sally, I've been very busy lately and this is the first time in a few weeks that I've had to sit down and read AR posts.  As usual, your subject matter is appropriate and totally accurate!

Hi Sally I agree.  There are times we want to share situations and ask for solutions but we should never directly name the person or the property.  We can learn so much from the experiences we have and I think blogging is a great way to share but personal attacks are never the way to go.  Great blog about an important subject.

Hi Celeste - Good material, too bad there has been so much of it it warrants a post about it!  I grin & bear it when people act unprofessional. I believe there is something behind their attitude that is larger than the situation at hand.  KM

Some people never mature, Celeste, and make sport out of harming the pride of others, rather than uplifting their dignity. Very nice post and a wake up call for real estate professionals to avoid behavior profiles that are indicative of behavior unbecoming a member of this fine profession. Hope your having a great morning in your beautiful state.

SALLY you are so right. Reading my prior post above, not sure if I wrote that crystal clear: most of us on AR are indeed of a positive mindset and we post very good, professional posts. Sometimes you just have to vent, and when you do, be careful! Your words can come back to haunt you.

This is so true Sally.  Once  I had a potential client call me and she said it was because she liked the way I commented on blogs....I think we all need to remember that clients as well as agents we may work with in the future are all possibly reading, as you said, we need to hold ourselves to the same high standards as we do with any real estate interaction.

Jeff: My points are valid...and emotions and such need to be curtailed as professionals often do :)

Thanks Leolinda....glad you're busy!

Very well written...lots of good thoughts. Even in down time, there's enough business out there for those of us who work hard, work smart and work fair. The main idea of these blog sites is to pick each other up, share tips and ideas and raise the bar on our profession...If we continue to do this in all our contacts with the public, the bar will be raised and perhaps we'll grow in the public's minds as far as professionalism and ethics...because we all know there is room to move up in the ranks as a profession.

Dave Culbertson, Broker/Owner, Real Living Home Team

Sally,

My grandmother taught me two very important lessons

1.  Its nice to be nice

2.  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

Those lessons have taken me a long way in life and make a code of ethics unnecessary for me

Have a great day

Leander

Very well put.  In the current issue of Texas Realtor® magazine there was an excellent article titled "Watch your language", written by TAR attorney Tom Morgan in which he explains how careful you need to be with the words you write on blogs and web sites and the legal risks associated with defaming others.

Paddy: You're so right Paddy...it's just not the way to go. No matter what the subject ....bashing online is not good...and surely shows the attitude of the NON Professional :)

Kristin: Always something behind the Pointing Fingers

Thanks David...well put and just went on your blog and read your dilema about the hair...wow...can you believe some people :) It really is unbecoming for an 'officer and a gentleman'. :)

Erica: Exactly....they are online....for however and whenever. All that does is show EVERYONE their bad attitude.

Diane: My current client just told me she reads all my posts ....wow. That tells me a lot.

Dave: raise the bar on our profession is what you stated...and the most important of all. Some believe that ranting and bragging is showing they're.....well, it's not good stuff.

Leander: I think that many of us have good beliefs, morals and values in our every day life and therefore comes naturally to just do what's right. I sleep good at night...as you must too. :)

Richard: No kidding! Why do some just ignore stuff like this?

 Good point he made:

how careful you need to be with the words you write on blogs and web sites and the legal risks associated with defaming others.

Good comment on morales and ethics come naturally to most of us. We know right from wrong...I sleep good at night...but when I wake up...my mind is racing about work, so no matter what the time, I'm back on the laptop!

:o)

Dave Culbertson, Mt. Vernon, OH

Dave: You and me both! Have a good weekend Dave! Gotta run ...on my way to the office now :)

Sally - It is too bad that people have to be constantly reminded about morals and ethics, but it is indeed necessary!!!!!!!!!!

I came across this blog after searching for Business Ethics on AR (brought about by observing some of these bad behaviors by outside agents). I am not a Realtor but work in a support role, providing marketing, coordination, and a wide variety of services. I must say that I am exceptionally proud of the RE/MAX Associates that I work with in our office.

After observing and interacting with them for over 5 years, and watchng them mentor younger (to the industry) Agents, teaching them what is acceptable, or not, and how to deal with those who do not hold themselves to a higher standard, I can honestly say that I work with the BEST in our part of the country.

It deeply saddens me when I see passionate, hard-working, ethical realtors given a bad reputation by a few less savory characters but I use our Realtors and my Broker as shining examples to everyday folks I meet when the conversation turns to real estate. And for those Realtors in our area who hold themselves to a higher standard, I try to invite them to all of our social events simply as a "Thank You" for making it a pleasure to do business with someone of their caliber.