In my childhood years, there was very little technology as I know it today. Hmm, I remember watching the Ed Sullivan show on a black and white television. No cable back then; just rabbit ears at best.
With young unsteady hands drawing wiggly lines to form blocks from 1-10 on the sidewalk and play hopscotch or a piece of rope help by two other little friends swinging up, around and down to play jump rope; these were the days of simple and enough.
Ah, life was grand with my little collection of Barbie dolls and with sewing needle in hand and struggling to get the thread through the little hole it was frustrating me to no end. Why couldn't I get it through the little hole? Contemplating that there must be some kind of adult type experience to this threading a needle and I ran to mom and asked her to help me with this daunting task. PULEEZE MOM!
I really, really want to sew some new clothes for my dolls.....puleeze mom? Well, I did find out that there WAS a trick to this. You licked your thumb and forefinger and twisted the end of one piece of thread so no loose ends would defeat the purpose of getting the end of the thread through the tiny hole.
I tried. And I succeeded! I was a pro from thereon and I hand sewed little Barbie clothes that I was proud of for years to come.
Flash a few years forward: I continued on my quest for more and more and enough just was not enough. Always looking for material things to ‘feel good' but alas! It was a temporary fix and the void was always there.
It's strange how this self esteem thing works. One looks outside of self to fill that void deep inside and no matter how much of anything one has there is still...... never enough. It's empty inside. No satisfaction and no contentment.
Years later I found the little doll case with a couple of Barbie dolls still inside....along with a few of those dresses I had sewn oh so long ago. I was still proud of them and gave them to my daughter. She wanted new ones.
I thought, "How am I supposed to teach my children something that I don't even have?"
A new day. A new way. I won't know if I don't try, right? Being content with self started from within. I knew that. Work on self from the inside out. I knew that. But now I had to try something new and put that knowledge into action......and what do you know, it worked!
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The following points are what I wrote earlier this year.....When Enough is Enough.....
For me.....enough is enough when:
- Awareness replaces denial and realization sets in....that the things outside ‘self' are not what dictates and determines my healthy sense of self.
- I replace the want of "stuff" with the need of "stuff" (making a list of wants and needs may bring more awareness)
- Be happy with what I have; Not unhappy with what I don't have (look at the cup half full instead of empty)
- I can escape ‘self' temporarily with some kind of "stuff"....BUT I can never hide from self long term.
- My life becomes unbalanced and regular every day tasks are put on the back burner.
- Other people become more important than me (people pleasing was a biggie to turn around)
- Stuff and money become more important than family and taking care of loved ones ....or just showing off.
- Stroking my ego becomes more important than caring how I affect others. Another part of being aware
- Taking becomes more important than giving. There always has to be some sort of balance for me so I don't go overboard in either direction.
If you know who you are and comfortable in your own skin....then there's less of a reason to look outside self for 'stuff' to replace it. It's like being an actor/actress on a stage. If you don't know your lines then you're lost.
Bottom line is: No matter where we go or what we do......SELF ALWAYS follows.
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I did want more but in a different way. I wanted more for myself. I turned my whole way of thinking around and started understanding who I was and what I needed to change in order to be comfortable.....with me. It all started with me. Remember that saying, ‘How can I love if I do not love myself?".
The first step toward change is awareness.
When I felt like I was shining from the inside I KNEW I was shining on the outside. Everything I used to do that did not work was turning around with this new way. And plenty of practice!
I look at my children, my husband, my family, and friends who look back at me with a smile. I listen and hear my clients who kindly reward me with a "thank you for all you've done". My coworkers who laugh with me (not at me.....okay, so they laugh at me too lol) The elderly lady standing next to me at the grocery store who acknowledges me with a smile and nods. I stop the car to let the mother with her children cross the road and they wave and mouth a ‘thank you'. I lean over to pat my doggie's head who is looking up at me with loving and loyal eyes. And she smiles back.
I know my lines. I am not lost.
Success lies within.
I am enough. And so are you.
Awareness, Understanding.
Acceptance.
Note: Kathy McGraw was the inspiration for this Holiday Acceptance contest and in return inspired me to write my gift of Holiday Acceptance non entry post. Just know that I am aware....and I pass this gift on ....to you.
Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.
© 2007-2012 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.
All rights reserved.
Sally, I love the journey you took us on with your learning. Knowing that you are ENOUGH shows great contentment and peace in your life.
Sally, I agree with Gary and I think we should all vote to allow your contribution to be part of the "contest":)
Gary: You would trip if you knew me before. I was NOT good enough ..... so being enough was a great accomplishment. Takes continuous hard work and effort to stay on track :)
Charles: Nope...the contest if for all of you... I just like to contribute too :)
Hi Sally! WOW--what a beautiful presentation of how I think we all are with respect to WANT! However, you've grown and bloomed into such a wonderful person becasue you have realized that YOU are all you need! Be true to yourself and your inner beauty shines for ALL to see! Thanks for sharing yourself with us all, Sally--we all love what you've become!
Thanks Sally-I have to agree...I learned early on its me...without or without possessions...sometimes you sit alone! :) Beautiful words and do you have any of those barbie clothes left?
Your post made me smile Sally. And like Midori stated it is all about me and my acceptance of who I am and not what I have.
Sally - What a beautifully written post. When we can look from within and feel love about ourselves it is that energy that shines through in every part of your life and the lives of those you touch. You are a true inspiration and I am so thankful for all you have shared and allowing us to see inside the beautiful YOU!
Sally, I remember black and white television....and BRIDE dolls....we didn't have Barbies in my day. ;-) Good for you that you learned how to make Barbie clothes. Very cute.....;-)
Trying and making it happen is absolutely a "must," if we want to succeed in life. Just pushing through it. ;-) It's funny as I read the other comments, what different meanings come forward when reading this post. ;-)
That was just lovely....and you reminded me of my own Barbies and all the beautiful clothes my aunt used to make for them.
Sally I remember those days very very well. I remember the first TV show I saw in color, it was Lost In Space. Man I didn't think it could get better then that.
Sally, well written post. We all need to follow and look at what you have said here, it takes us back to being happy within.
Debe: I appreciate that! Believe me....I've come a long way :)
Midori: Ha! I don't believe so. We went through mom's house and 'cleaned' house :)
Monika: I'm glad...I like to see people smile with me :) Material possessions are easily obtained. Inner strength and esteem takes hard work and effort. :)
Donna: Believe me ... it took a few days to write. :) It sure does...it seeps into ones soul and outward into others :) Let's see you now :)
Teri: I really was proud ya know :) Oh...everyone's perception will be different. That's what makes us humans so unique :)
Tami: Ah...but it sure was a lot of work to make it work for me....so in turn it helped my children. They learn from example just as I did :)
Ann: I thank you ....and I bet yours looked professional. Mine were REALLY hand made but I was proud. :)
George: I remember that one....then again...let's just leave it to you to admit. lol! Now...which character did you identify with most? LOL>
Dona: I can't imagine going back in time...unless it's just to remember where I came from :)
Sally, Your post was absolutely beautiful. I too remember the Ed Sullivan show and just being a happy kid. I still have my Barbie Dolls (and Ken :) because they are a treasured reminder of my childhood. I know what I have and what I am and fortunately, am happy with both. Those words you posted are so important to our well-being.
Sally - That was a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing! I too remember the old black and white tv with a total of 3 channels, Ed Sullivan, Captain Kangaroo and Ding Dong School. The grandbaby gets Noggin! Memories and lessons - it is what life is all about -
Ed Sullivan on a black and white TV. I will not admit to being old enough to remember that. LOL
Hi Sally. Great blog with a wonderful timeless message. My weakness is antiques....always has been, but with my kids help I have gotten better at telling myself I do not need this!! :) Every other Christmas we have to make each other presents instead of buying them......those are always the best ones.
Carole: We all hope for a better life and fortunately many know what that means. We can all have more money etc. but if we don't have a healthy sense of self then what is all that worth?
Barbara: Memories and lessons learned. Yup....now are my good ole days :)
Randy: You just did....lol!
Pamela: I love homemade presents!
Sally that would be the robot ............ danger Will Robinson, danger ........... LOL
I think I do that pretty good ..... LOL
George: Hey.. I think you do too :)
Sally- wonderful post. Finding ones true self is a journey worth the time and once started becomes a beautiful adventure. Congrats and thanks for sharing yours
Sally, just heading over to Oahu for a day. Came across this inspirational post and it brightened my day already. Aloha from Kauai.
What is an unofficial entry? You can't win? Judged by Tami
I've...
Taken a vote and most Members believe you know more about psycology than most people. So, we were wondering if you can handle the nut jobs around this place? The pay is in knowing you gave someone a greater awareness of 'self' :)
TLW...ROAR!
Martha: Sharing is caring :)
Ronnie: How come you didn't call us??
Tami: Emailed you
TLW: Ah....you took a vote, huh? I only KNOW about ME and what worked for me. (you know that..you know more about me than most :)...whatever info I put out there....and if someone can use it that's great. If they find what works for them...is even better. I handle me...the nut jobs NEED to handle themselves. lol!
Hi Sally, As they say... the teacher will appear when the student is ready. I firmly believe that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Growth is a funny thing. Sometimes it comes in spurts, other times great realizations are experienced.
Ahh Sally, you brought back memories of Barbies and sewing. I have accepted that I can no longer thread the needle without my reading glasses on.
Ahhh awareness....a rare and subtle thing.....even amidst a world of awareness and thoughtful understanding............yet still so much we're 'unaware' of..........
Sally—B & W TV, Rabbit Ears, Ed Sullivan Show, Barbie Dolls... you've got to be kidding me—did you really grow-up in those days? Actually, B & W TV was first broadcast with Kinescopes. Remember how weird the images looked around the edges, all blurry-n-fuzzy? I only know this because I studied Radio/TV/Film in college—LOL! I really do have a degree in R/TV/Film, but I'm afraid I have first hand experience with TV in the 1950s. I enjoyed your post - insightful and well done as always. The only thing I would add is that when you thread the needle you have to stick your toungue to the side of your mouth and scrunch up your brow to get it to go through the first time... at least that's the only way it worked for me.
Linda: No kidding. Actually, I was born in the late 50's but believe me...it was B/W cartoons lol! I also remember the tin sound...not all sterophonic like it is now. :) Oh, goodness....I immediately caught that image!!!!!!
Liz: Awareness is not subtle for me. It's a constant reorganization of the thinking from instilled beliefs that brought me to this space and time. I suppose it's more awareness and acceptance of self that draws a painted picture of this lady :)
Christine: I no longer even try :)
Marian: Oh...but the gift of acceptance....to move on ...move forward in life.