Hawaii Real Estate | Hawaii Relocations | Hawaii Home Buying & Selling

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There's a Diplomatic (Nicer) Way to Say IT!

Playing nice in the rainWe ALL feel the need to express opinions on many subjects. It's human nature.....we all think differently and have different opinions. Regardless if it's political, about something going on around ActiveRain or Localism or just plain views on religion or abortion, the way you are presenting it can make all the difference in the world. 

In other words, I can be assertive to express my opinion. Be mean, nasty, blunt and one sided and no one would want to listen to me. At least I know I wouldn't if I talked me to that way. 

I don't Nobody deserves the disrespect from 'loud mouthed'  (bolded exclamation demands) from anyone. I have that much respect for myself to not buy into that.....and would surely have the same respect for others to not do it to them.

Being positive does not mean we have to let anyone walk all over us. That also applies  to NOT listening to closed minded people who only want to be heard and don't care how they talk to another.

No matter what, we ARE blogging professionals in the Real Estate Industry and if you would not talk to others in the manner you are writing then you might as well keep those fingers off the keyboard.

There's a difference between expressing your opinion and being rude.

Be nice when playing in the sandbox.

For that matter...in the Rain.

                                                       

 

Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman  is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs  she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.

  

 © 2007-2012 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.

All rights reserved.

     

 


 

Comments

Not sure what happened that motivated you to write this post, but I hope you have a great day.

Posted by Steve Richman (Genworth Financial) about 3 years ago

FOR ALL OF YOU...

 

Nothing happened to me........it's an everyday thing when communicating online.... and reading ....the everyday thing in the life of a blogger :)  Just keeping myself in check so I don't respond to those posts lol!

 

Steve:  I always have a nice day :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Sis - Believe it or not, I'm a very diplomatic guy.  I think it runs in the family:)

Posted by Jason Sardi (I love kittens cute & My Jennifer!!) about 3 years ago

Sally, I totally agree with you. There is no need to present yourself in an unflattering way to state your point.

Posted by Lourdes Hoglo REALTOR® Three Village & North Shore Suffolk Co. Long Island (Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate) about 3 years ago

Lil Bro...you've come a long way baby lol!  You have never been mean when saying things...I haven't seen that. Then again, I'm partial to little brothers :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Lourdes: Unflattering is a good word. Some may think they're being cool because they are not afraid to state their opinion but may not realize they're being awfully rude. ....then again, that's just my opinon :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

I always say don't burn bridges because you never know where you may run into them again.

Posted by John Walters (Licensed in Slidell, Louisiana) (Frank Rubi Real Estate) about 3 years ago

Sally,

I'm almost afraid to respond on this, but I'm not shy...I like TACT, but I'm not big on sugar coating...I'm a one finger typist, so I try to be blunt and to the point...I consider myself a real estate professional in the blogging industry...!!! And  BTW, your bluntness is what keeps me coming back...!!! :) Thanks,   Fran

Posted by Fran 'The Title Man' Gaspari Title Insurance-PA & NJ (Patriot Land Transfer, Inc.) about 3 years ago

I agree.  I recently received a very negative comment on a public forum from someone who didn't like something about my company's website.  It was very rude and certainly something she could have expressed privately.  I am grateful now, though, because she is not someone I would want to work with anyway.

Posted by Dawn Orbeck Send Out Cards Ind. Distributor #33245 (Send Out Cards Midland, MI) about 3 years ago

John: That's what I say....burning bridges aren't what we do...it's building them. :)

Fran: Am I blunt mixed with rude obnoxious one sided opinions. I think not. There's a difference between being assertive and being rude. Being to the point is not the same as believing your way is the only way. Thanks Fran....  BTW ...you're a teddy bear..you're not that BLUNT!!

Dawn: I really don't like negative remarks... it's not necessary and only shows that the person doing it is only drawing attention to themselves....in a negative way...so no skin off your back :) :) I also agree that it shows me who I will NOT trust with a client I'm referring. :)

 

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Sally,

Well said.  Rudeness and being disrespectful can easily be avoided.

Posted by Richard Weeks, REALTOR®, Broker, Vice President General Manager - Texas (Morris Williams Realty) about 3 years ago

Hey Richard....I think I just don't want to hang around with people like that...in business or in life....it tends to rub off on ya! :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

 hi Sally, oh yeah! Why do some people think social networking gives them a license to abandon common sense & decency? Especially when the kind of behavior you describe just makes them look like a social pinhead! ;-) Later...

Posted by marti garaughty, a highly caffeinated creative type. The Art of Marketing YOU (garaughty.com) about 3 years ago

marti: hugs for you...you are on the same wave length :)  I just don't get it marti....and they still defend their bullying position as "stating my opinion"  lol. Well, we have some opinions too :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Some lately are not following these rules. I guess they haven't read this blog of yours yet Sally. Hopefully bad behavior will be minimal here.

Posted by Gary Woltal - Assoc. Broker REALTOR® SFR Dallas Ft. Worth (Keller Williams Realty) about 3 years ago

I'm so glad you wrote this, Sally. I came upon a blog earlier today that just made me cringe as I scrolled through and read some of the author's responses to comments that were left. Just seems so unnecessary and unprofessional to me. I hope he reads this post!

Posted by Peggy Wester Real Estate Agent Ozaukee & Washington County Real Estate (Shorewest Realtors) about 3 years ago

Sally--It never seems to end...Do unto others as you would have done to you just doesn't catch on with some. :)

Posted by Teri Eckholm, REALTOR® Anoka&Washington Counties Acreage & Lakeshore Homes (REMAX Specialists) about 3 years ago

Gary: I think not too! lol!  Ah...but the ones who steer clear are usually the ones that do it :)

Peggy: I hope so too...there are a few that I hope read it too...I have many a time written about this same subject...but alas....the human race needs variety lol!

Teri: Yeah...writing for deaf eyes lol!

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Woo Hoo, I certainly agree. I noticed as I gain in years on the planet that I have become less demonstrative and actually surround myself with people that respect others opinions. And it may not be as sublime as it appears, for when we express our ideas in a manner that encourages others to consider them as well as we to consider others opinions as a real possibility, we can actually learn more,even about our own ideas and opinions. Sometimes our viewpoint gets shored up and other times they are proved wrong but when shared and done in respectful ways, people are all to willing to teach and learn themselves. 

Posted by San Diego Real Estate Voice authored by William Johnson GRI CRS e-Pro CDPE (RE/MAX Associates) about 3 years ago

That's why many love you William :)  That's the whole point and you got it.....we all learn from each other....and it stops when one side....is one sided :)

HUGS!

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Sally - Great reminders, it is not so much what you say it is more about the delivery.  Treating others the way you would like to be treated is a great model to follow.  Have a great weekend.

Posted by Jennifer Fivelsdal Rhinebeck Real Estate (Serving Dutchess| Columbia|Ulster Ctys (LIC. R.E. Broker JFIVE Home Realty LLC ) about 3 years ago

Sally, Some folks just don't like to play well with others... What can I say...

Posted by Michael Thornton - Nashville, TN area Home Inspector - 615.661.0297 (Complete Home Inspections, Inc.) about 3 years ago

I've flagged as a feature....as I think ALL  AR members should read this one....I've seen some rude comments lately.

Posted by Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor WV Real Estate in Greenbrier County (Coldwell Banker Stuart & Watts Real Estate) about 3 years ago

Aloha Sally—I decided sometime ago to remove myself from negative, bad mannered people. I'm not a Pollyanna, but I like myself and my life. I don't want to waste any minute of it with bullies or nay-sayers. Great post!

Posted by Linda Bourgault (lulugraphix-creative photography & fine art) about 3 years ago

The splinter in my eye clouds my perspective. Rule # 1: remove the splinter.  Call it as you see it knowing that tact is paramount.  Great Post

Posted by Claude Cross-Charlotte NC Real Estate(Homes By Cross, Inc.) about 3 years ago

Hi SalSal !! -- Yep - total agreement.

I encourage differing opinions, especially in the comments, but always with and underlying expectation that the comments will be delivered in a respectful fashion.

You disagree with me ? No problem at all !!!

... you berate me and use disrespectful words to convey your differing opinion ? ... we may well have a problem :o)

Thankfully the majority 'get it' and have the mature ability to debate fairly.

 .... but we know what just a few bad apples can do...

Cheers Salllyyyy !!!!!

Sheldon

Posted by Sheldon Neal ~ That British Agent ~ Bergen County NJ (Bergen County, NJ - RE/MAX Real Estate Limited) about 3 years ago

Sally unfortunately there are a few know it all's here in the Rain that seem to take great pleasure in trying to embarrass others.  There is a way of correcting without embarrassing, and what they don't seem to realize is that they really embarrass themselves when they do it in a mean spirited way.  I like to refer to them as the self proclaimed AR Police.

Posted by George Souto NMLS# 65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages Connecticut about 3 years ago

George: Yeah I know...it's been that way...although it doesn't hurt for me to put it out there ...time and again...in hopes that it gets a word or two across. :)

Sheldon!!!!  That's how I am...I welcome comments...and they can disagree all they like...but do it rudely and they get zapped :)

Claude: That was wonderful! REMOVE THE SPLINTER! :) It's great to opens ones mind....see things in a different perspective I do believe :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Linda: You and me both! I love to hang with lovers of life :) Waiting for your arrival :)

Hey Rebecca: Yup...it's supposedly why it balances out our world....I think I'd like a little more lopsided world with more positive energy :)

Michael: Well, then...they won't be able to play in my sandbox then :) :)

Thanks Jennifer!  It sure is a wise saying :)

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

Being respectful is important - most important when you disagree with someone. Good point!

Posted by Gary L Waters PLLC- Broker Associate Realtor® Melbourne Viera Rockledge FL (Century 21 Baytree Realty, 1211 Admiralty Blvd, Rockledge) about 3 years ago

Interesting post, thanks for the good read.

Sincerely,

Tom Braatz

Posted by Tom Braatz,Waukesha County Realtor Real Estate agent,Waukesha Cty WI Real Estate (Re/Max Realty Center 262-377-1459) about 3 years ago

GAry: Yes it is....thanks.

Tom: Thanks.

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

I like your little brother, and both of you have a way of saying things from one end of the spectrum to the other.......but not disrespectfully :)

Posted by Kathy McGraw, Riverside County CA Real Estate (CELLing Realty) about 3 years ago

Kathy...oh, yeah...don't we all. HUG.

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman, RA, CRS, HAWAII Real Estate & Relocations (Century 21 Liberty Homes) about 3 years ago

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